Transcript
SAVOY
I just don't know why we needed to like come someplace public. You can still come by the house.
MILO
I just wanted to hash this out and be done and we can just be over it, okay?
SAVOY
Yeah, but why do we need to come someplace so public?
MILO
(sighs)
SAVOY
Just come over!
MILO
I don't want to come over.
SAVOY
It's fine, It's-
MILO
Okay?
SAVOY
All your stuff's not even there.
MILO
I- I know, but it's gonna be weird being in our old space toge-
ROGER
Hey, hey, hey, how are
SAVOY
Hi, hello.
MILO
Hi!
ROGER
we doing tonight, gentlemen?
MILO
How are you?
ROGER
Hello, hello.
SAVOY
Fine, how are you? Hello.
ROGER
Welcome to LaBrusca. My name is Roger. I'm going to be your server for this evening. Here's some napkins for you
MILO
Thank you.
SAVOY
Thank you, Roger.
ROGER
here's the menus. We have some specials up on the board right there.
SAVOY
(clears throat)
ROGER
I can tell you about any of them if you have any questions.
SAVOY
Okay.
ROGER
If there's anything I can start you off with to drink, just let me know. Waters for the table?
MILO
I'll just have a water.
SAVOY
I'm fine, yeah, water's fine.
ROGER
Just waters?
SAVOY
Water's fine.
ROGER
Do you want me to get started on anything? Any cocktails? Margaritas? We have an incredible upside down margarita.
MILO
I'll have an upside down margarita.
ROGER
Oh, an upside down margarita for you, and what about you?
SAVOY
I'll have a right side up one.
MILO
Yeah, I'm sure you will.
ROGER
Thank you, thank you.
SAVOY
Alright.
ROGER
I'll get those started for you. I'll get those waters out in just a second.
SAVOY
Thank you, Roger.
ROGER
I'll be right back. All right, thank you.
SAVOY
Okay, thank you!
ROGER
I'll hear it. I will hear it. It doesn't matter if I'm like far away! You know, sometimes it's like a dog. It's like the ears perk up. You say the name, you know? Just so. You just yell "Roger" if you need anything.
MILO
Thanks. Thanks Roger.
ROGER
Okay? Alright.
SAVOY
Excellent. Thank you, Roger.
ROGER
[snapping]
MILO
And that actually brings me to my next point, which is the dog.
SAVOY
I knew... fine. Fine!
MILO
I want the dog. I've spent more time.
SAVOY
Fine.
MILO
I spent more time with him.
SAVOY
I'm not arguing on it.
MILO
Okay, all right, good.
SAVOY
Take 'em! Take him! Plenty of other dogs out there. I'll go rescue my own dog.
MILO
Good. You can go rescue your own dog.
SAVOY
I already have a few names picked out anyways.
MILO
Great.
SAVOY
And they're good.
MILO
I don't...
SAVOY
So.
MILO
I don't want to hear them.
SAVOY
Okay, they're very good.
MILO
[clears throat]
SAVOY
Better than names than you could come up with.
MILO
(sighs)
ROGER
Uh oh, uh oh, whoopsie!
SAVOY
Okay!
ROGER
Little tipsy there with the waters.
MILO
Ah, thank you.
SAVOY
Alright!
ROGER
I'm just kidding.
MILO
Thanks.
ROGER
I was I was completely in control the whole time Anyway, I brought you your waters and I also
SAVOY
Thanks, Roj.
ROGER
brought you a little treat for the waters. of...
MILO
Oh, wait what?
ROGER
[dripping into cups]
SAVOY
Oh, good, and what's that?
MILO
What is that?
ROGER
It's just food coloring, but it'll...
MILO
Makes it... makes it bluer. Okay.
ROGER
I thought it'd be kind of fun.
SAVOY
To have... yeah... blue waters.
ROGER
Do you need, do you want any appetizers? Do you know what you want to start with?
SAVOY
Ah.
ROGER
Also, would it be okay if I like... If I just sort of licked my fingers while we talked? [ Licking sounds ]
MILO
That's...
SAVOY
I mean I-
MILO
That's kind of gross.
SAVOY
If it's an actual question,
ROGER
Like this.
SAVOY
I wish you wouldn't, but I don't work here.
ROGER
Wow, what did I touch that was spicy?
SAVOY
Okay.
ROGER
Can I get y'all any appetizers?
MILO
[SIGH]
SAVOY
I'll do, I think we're doing separate apps. I'll do Hush Puppies.
ROGER
Some hush puppies for you
MILO
I also, I would also like hush puppies.
ROGER
What's your name?
SAVOY
Me?
ROGER
You.
MILO
My name?
ROGER
Yeah.
MILO
is Milo.
ROGER
And-- Your name?
SAVOY
Savoy.
ROGER
Yeah, I kind of get that. All right.
SAVOY
Okay.
ROGER
Get some hush puppies. We'll get those margaritas.
SAVOY
Stop licking your fingers.
ROGER
Hey, how would either of you feel? And it's totally okay if the answer is no. How would you feel if I put something profoundly disgusting into your drinks?
MILO
What?
SAVOY
I mean, I'll-
ROGER
Yeah, I came back in from my smoke break, right?
SAVOY
pass for me.
ROGER
And I looked down and there was a band-aid stuck to my sneakers.
MILO
Oh.
ROGER
So I stuck it in my pocket, right? Three days later. It's tonight. Reach into my pocket just now. It touches my finger!
MILO
Oh.
ROGER
So it got me thinking, what if... I were to dip this... into your drinks?
MILO
No
ROGER
One second each.
SAVOY
I'd rather you didn't.
MILO
I don't think I want that.
SAVOY
No offense, Roger.
MILO
I don't think I want that.
SAVOY
This is really this is disgusting.
MILO
That's pretty gross.
SAVOY
No thank you.
MILO
Yeah, I'd like to speak with your manager, I think.
ROGER
Oh no, there's no need to do that- I don't work here.